One Thousand Things
by xXGagaGirlXx
Summary: Madonna shot her arm into the air enthusiastically, making Charlotte jump in surprise. “All in favour of the newly corrupted Aretha say aye!”' A series inspired by a 1000 Awesome Things list.
1. 998 Getting Grass Stains

**A/N: Inspiration came in the form of yet another list, this time a list of the top 1000 awesome things. So I guess this is the beginning of another series?**

**Nothing belongs to me, sadly. Just the words that are about to follow (:**

**Peace x**

_#998 GETTING GRASS STAINS…_

"Shh!" Madonna turned and placed an index finger over Charlotte's lips, pressing it down as she felt the girl begin to giggle again. "Be quiet." She smirked herself, her other hand linked with Charlotte's as they both tip-toed through a group of snoozing Bohemians, both careful not to step on any fingers as they crept towards the exit of the Heartbreak Hotel. "If Macca finds we've snuck out, there'll be hell to pay!" she winked at her girlfriend and began to scoot around the sleeping body of Pop.

"The prospect of being caught makes it all the more fun." Charlotte whispered. Skipping over the arm of Prince, the plastic bottle of cider clasped under her left arm giving a fizzing noise as she landed. "Shh!" she glared down at it until the noise had died out.

Once they'd finally manoeuvred themselves out into the night air, identical wide set grins spread across their wind bitten faces. The bitter cold made them giggle and shake all at once, a combination of shock at the sudden drop in temperature and excitement that they'd managed to creep out into the night without anyone noticing.

"Where now?" Charlotte asked, linking her arm into Madonna's for warmth.

"I know the perfect place." Madonna told her, "It's just a little way ahead." She hitched her backpack further up onto her shoulder and ploughed on, pulling Charlotte along with her. "Not long now, just up this hill."

As they reached the top of the grassy hill they both collapsed to the floor with a satisfied bump. Madonna pulled her backpack from her shoulder and unzipped it, tugging from it a moth bitten blanket and wrapping it around the two of them with a smile, snuggling up into Charlotte's side and entangling their legs together.

Charlotte opened the cider bottle slowly, giving it a chance to fizz up before taking the top off entirely. Tipping it up into her mouth she chugged at it loudly, only stopping when she felt Madonna's eyes fixed on her. "Ahh!" she wiped her lips with the back of her hand and smiled.

"You are going to share then?" Madonna laughed, snatching the bottle and taking a large gulp. She swallowed and made a face. "God Lotte, how do you drink this piss?"

Charlotte shrugged, "If you don't want it…"

"Never said that." Madonna pointed out, bracing herself and swigging back some more.

Charlotte beamed, pulling the bottle away from Madonna and leaning in to kiss her cider soaked lips. Madonna threw the almost empty bottle aside, not caring as it rolled down the hill and sloshed cider across the long grass, pushing her lover to the ground and pulling the blanket up and over their heads.

*****

The morning sunlight stung at Charlotte's eyes. She yawned widely, rolling over and nuzzling into her partners neck as she did every morning, for a few moments she lay there peaceful and content until suddenly realisation hit her.

"Shit! Mads get up, we fell asleep!" she shook Madonna by the shoulders, whipping the blanket up and stuffing it into the discarded backpack. "Come on we have to get back!"

"Wassat?" Madonna stirred, wriggling around on the floor in search of the disappearing blanket.

"Get up- GET UP!" Charlotte pulled at Madonna's arm frantically.

Madonna rubbed at her eyes, sitting up begrudgingly, startling as she began to understand what had happened. "Shit, let's go!" she leapt up, taking hold of Charlotte's hand and dragging her along. "Quick, run."

As the two girls began to run down the hill, Charlotte felt her legs lose control, beginning to go too fast for her petite body. Before the two knew it they were on the floor, rolling and skidding down the slippery grass, landing with a thud at the bottom of the hill and erupting into a cackle of laughter as they picked each other up.

"Well, that's one way to speed up the travel!" Madonna gasped, still clinging to Charlotte's hand as they skipped towards the entrance to the Heartbreak.

As they crept back onto the platform Big Macca turned the corner, jumping as he bumped into them. "You scared me girls!" he told them. "What're y'doing up this early?"

"Couldn't sleep." Madonna muttered.

"Thought we'd make a start on breakfast." Charlotte added, receiving an annoyed stamp to her foot from Madonna.

"Oh…" Big Macca digested their story and smiled, it seemed he didn't suspect a thing. The two girls smiled triumphantly. Macca stared down at the two girls legs, Charlotte's bare ones and Madonna's skinny jeans.

As they followed his gaze they shuffled awkwardly, Charlotte feeling her cheeks flush red as she spotted the evidence.

"Girls? How did y'manage to get all those grass stains?"


	2. 966 Who Doesn't Mind Killing Spiders

_#966 LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T MIND KILLING SPIDERS…_

The spider flexed a hairy leg, making the sticky web that it had been residing on in the corner of Meat and Brit's room twitch slightly and causing the Bohemian to shudder with disgust. Numerous goggling eyes stared back, no doubt trying to digest the flashes of colour and fishnet that stood looming over him. His fat belly swelled, the Heartbreak Hotel was the perfect place to wait around for lunch, the contrast of the cold and dark pathways mixed with the hot and stuffy rooms meant that it was a perfect place for bugs to be lurking. Another twitch, this time the entire body, making the Bohemian give a squeal of fright.

"Can someone get this thing out of my room?"

Meat rounded the corner, spotting her cowering boyfriend in the corner, his eyes glazed over as the arachnid now swung from its own shining thread. She smiled kindly, moving him over to one side.

"Move over yeh big girl." She removed a heavy shoe and swiped it across the wall, leaving Brit to hide on the other side of the room; it was an odd sight to see a man of such size cower.

"Thanks babe." Brit gave a forced smile, still not entirely happy that the spider was completely dead.

Meat prodded the smooshed body with the end of her shoe once more to prove that it wasn't moving. "S'all gone. Promise."

The big build of a man came over and wrapped her in a tight hug. "It was awful." He told her. "Kept coming towards me like it wanted to eat me…" he paused and shuffled his feet slightly, "Don't tell the others I was scared though…"

Meat nodded. "Wouldn' dream of it."

"Can I tell them it was me who killed it?"


	3. 878 The Smell and Sound of a Campfire

'#878 THE SMELL AND SOUND OF A CAMPFIRE…'

"Is she out for the count?" Madonna shuffled from her sitting position onto her knees and peered over the crackling flames of their self built campfire, nodding in response to Meat's question.

"'Bout bloody time," Meat grinned.

"Don't be like that," Aretha chimed, rolling the sleeping teenager from her knee and carefully pushing her onto her back a fair distance from the hot embers that now sparked not only from the roaring campfire, but also from the freshly ignited joint that Meat had been so eager to start but Aretha had begged her to keep away from Jovi. ("Come on Meat, you've seen what she's like after just a few beers- and I'm the one that has to wipe vomit off my legs all night every time she chucks up over the side of her hammock.")

Madonna outstretched her hand to Meat, taking the joint between her index and middle finger. Drawing back on it, her face flinched briefly at the unexpected strength. She smiled and pulled her girlfriend towards her as if they were about to exchange a tender kiss, only to slowly exhale the smoke into Charlotte's gaping mouth. They both giggled, briefly brushing lips and letting Aretha take the roll-up from Madonna's limp hand as they began to glug back on Charlotte's bottle of rosé, Madonna tipping it up high as Charlotte drank, emitting silent laughter as it dripped from the corners of her mouth.

Aretha could feel Meat watching her as she inhaled, rubbing at her temples with a mixture of exhaustion and content she exhaled with a smile, her eyes nervously flickering over to where her girlfriend slept. As she it back over to Meat she was surprised when the Scot refused it.

"Y'need it more than me," she chuckled, cracking open a bottle of beer on her bottom molars and spitting the metal cap aside. "I can't remember the last time y'let go of it all. S'bout time y'relaxed a little bit babe." She tipped the green glass bottle up and clamped her mouth quickly over the frothing beer that spilled from the neck.

Aretha fidgeted awkwardly and continued to smoke. Cheeky Fairy sidled up beside her, snaking a hand onto Aretha's shoulder and offering up her quarter bottle of vodka. Aretha took it gratefully, taking one last drag of the joint and passing it onto the tutu-clad bohemian, her eyelids suddenly feeling a lot heavier than they had previously.

Madonna immerged from the tangle of body-parts that had been her and Charlotte, holding her small hands over the flickering flames of the fire and looking across happily at her friends, oblivious to the magenta lipstick that had been smeared across her cheek. "Nice this, ain't it?

"What's that, Mads?" Meat interlocked her fingers with Cheeky's, glancing to her left and smiling kindly across at her as she began to cough, having taken too much of the substance into her lungs.

Madonna shrugged, "Dunno, just- this? Us lot? It's Nice."

"Plus we have a campfire." Charlotte chimed, draining the last dregs of her bottle and slinging it behind her onto the grass before crawling over to Meat's side to locate some more alcohol.

"A campfire is always good," Meat noted, tucking Cheeky's braids behind her ear for her in a motherly manner and extinguishing what was now just half an inch of rolling paper and roach.

"It's better with campfire songs," Aretha pointed out, her usual uptight attitude slipping slightly as she sat to the side, her weight resting on her left palm.

"Why Miss Franklin!" Meat exclaimed, "You're not suggesting doing something as illegal as singing non-Gaga songs, are you?"

"And in… public?" Cheeky piped in teasingly.

Aretha shrugged casually, "Maybe I am."

Madonna shot her arm into the air enthusiastically, making Charlotte jump in surprise. "All in favour of the newly corrupted Aretha say aye!"

The girls cackled loudly all shouting "aye!" as many times as they could muster in one breath, until it began to sound more like a catcall than a concurrence.

"Shhh!" Aretha encouraged them, "Not too loud, if we get caught you won't be celebrating the fact that we're all corrupt."

Meat snorted, holding her freshly rolled cigarette out towards Cheeky's mouth, allowing the girl to lick across the paper so that Meat could seal it. Sliding her thumb an index finger across it, she placed it between her teeth and chuckled. "Easy there Areth', thought you were going to get disorderly on us for a moment there."

Madonna leant across Charlotte's lap and ruffled Aretha's hair fondly. "Don't tease, our 'Reth is the one to go to if you ever fancy a bit of organised delinquency."

Aretha agreed, "You're all welcome to join me in nice volume controlled, illegal sing-song."

Charlotte huffed, "What's the point? Singing's only fun if you can do it like no one cares."

"So wha' d'we do then?" Cheeky asked, a long piece of grass now dangling from her mouth as she imitated Meat smoking her cigarette.

"Shhh!" Meat hushed the girl, handing her an opened alco-pop and pointing to the dancing flames of the fire.

The group sat in silence, watching as the amber flames licked at the blackened firewood that had originally been in some form of structure, but that now crumbled into the dry grass. The fire gave satisfying crackles and pops, the warmth and heath waves that rose from it making it impossible for the watching Bohemians not to smile wistfully.

"It's nice." Madonna repeated, taking her girlfriend between her arms and resting her chin on her shoulder.

The other three murmured in agreement as they watched the fire, hypnotised by the inconsistent darting of the flames.

Aretha sniffed, her nose capturing the mixed smells of the charcoaled wood, the cheap alcohol and the remains of marijuana and tobacco. "Yeah." She smiled, "Us, this- it's nice."


End file.
